SiGnZzZz....

Haiz... Since after the operation on Wednesday 19/1/05, my dad regretted of cutting his leg. He become more and more depressed and negative. He even told my mum to take care of his children and asked Doc to give him injection to ZzZzzZzz (meaning Die). That time his swollen leg has made him suffered like hell, so he decided to have the operation. Now after the operation, he still wanna end his life.. haiz...
Whoever visit him, he will tell them to take care of their leg.... He envy those who got both legs...haiz...Maybe he just afraid to burden us...but If he continue demoralize, Mum will be suffering too. Not only that, my relatives and even his children (Bro, sis and me). SiGnz.... Don't know what to do....

mY tERm TeSt all fail.... mOoDlEsSs......

HATE THAT HOSPITAL DOCTOR #$%&!...

Mum just told me that today she went to another private hospital to ask Doc. Just a consult, need to pay 150buck.. so $$$ menz.. hmmz He is specialise Bone Cancer / consultant Doctor. He is quite old lah (about 50 plus) but he is a pro and experience Doctor in Singapore. He sometimes will go back to that HOSPITAL for consulting as last time he was from that place too. Once after he saw my dad report and the pics of Xray (before my dad went for 2nd operation), he knew that my dad has cancer. BUT that HOSPITAL Doc at that time told my dad that his bone "mei mei de", "mei you shi".. Heard that the Bone specialist Doc in that HOSPITAL is SHU YI SHU ER lor. meaning he is the top specialist Bone Cancer Doc... but...he look quite young lor..around 30 plus year lor.. YET Y HE TOOK SO LONG TO FIND OUT WHAT IS THAT???? DUE TO THEIR INEXPERIENCE AND DRAG AND DRAG, drag very very long lor, MY DAD BECOME LIKE THAT WAN LOR... BEFORE THE 2nd OPERATION, (STAYING THERE ABOUT 1 AND HALF MTH PLUS), WHAT HAVE THE HOSPITAL DOCS DONE??? ARRGGHHHHHH.....

Haiz... My dad decided to cut away his leg, at least he wont be suffering. Think he will be going for OP this wednesday. Hope he will alrite. hmmz A fake leg will zhuang shang qu lor, mum told me that it will be very $$.. haiz.. As for the lung, hmmz he have to go for therapy (1000 buck plus) and use medician (3000 buck plus) so that he can recover faster. Now i think the most suffer is not only my dad, and also my mum. She has to xiang ban fa for getting the money for my dad yi yao fei thingy. Mum told me that we might need to move to 4 room flat le... signz..... I HATE THAT HOSPITAL DOC HAI WO DE DAD BECOME ONLY A LEG... arrrggghh.... How i wish my leg can replace his infection leg. But mine is so short and fat.. if not also weird weird wan..Don't know whether got any leg donation wan...if got then ,my dad can use lor... if not signz.....

MiRaClEs....????

After the 1st operation on Oct 04, he stayed at home for about 1mth. During his 3rd check up in polyclinic, Doc asked him to go to HOSPITAL for scanning. Due to his left leg is swollen at that time and does not have any sign of recovery. So he admitted to the same HOSPITAL again.

They took my dad blood sample for testing, Xray, scanning etc. Doc said that one of the iron plate has losen but this does not affect his leg to be swollen.So they told mum that dad need to be Guan Cha (observed). They took so long and yet couldnt find out what the problem is. So !@#$%&*... Then since after he fell in HOSPITAL toilet, they become anxious lor. Brought my dad to check up, scan or blah blah blah.. 2 week later 22 Dec 04, my dad went for 2nd operation. The reason is to get rid extra bone and bacteria inside the leg. THESE is what the doc told mum. Heard that the operation is a failure. They did not do anything about removing the extra bone and bacteria. They just took some bone sample and blood for scanning. Pls lor "Say This, but Do That" Hate ppl "Shuo yi tao, Zhuo yi tao" Arrrggg...Since after the 2nd operation, he having high fever like 38.3, 38.4 and 38.7 degree ON and OFF till now lor. Beside that, his leg become MORE and MORE SWOLLEN each day. See liao so scare.. I DONT UNDERSTAND Y Y Y BECOME LIKE THAT. His leg drip blood out almost everyday. Then he has to eat blood medician to increase his red blood cell. haiz..This is not the worst part lor.

2mth liao, after staying there for 2 mth, finally the report was out on last friday 14 Jan 2005. Doc told us that he tio BONE CANCER in the leg. Now is already stage 4 lor. Some more it has spread to LUNG. It is like Ji shi Za Dan, BOMB --> stage FOUR.. Doc suggested that the best solution is to CUT his infection LEG (Da Diu lor) and go for therapy Hua Liao for the lung cancer. But it cannot kill the cancer in the lung, it can only help to prevent spreading to other part of the body.
The saddess part is:
if my dad didnt go for OP and Therapy (Hua Liao), he can only live for 6mth.
if he go for OP but didnt go for Therapy, he can live for a year.
But if he go for both OP and Therapy, he can only live a year to 2 year.

No matter going for OP and not going for OP also must die. Arrggghh.. And if go for the Therapy, hair will drop, become pale, vomit etc. Also very xin ku lor... Somemore every 3 weeks must go for Therapy lor. The COST of each therapy is more then 1000 buck. Mum also very xin ku. She also going to break down le. Now more burden le..haiz...Everybody is very moody and sad.. Seeing my dad suffer, heart very pain. haiz...

IF THE DOC IN THAT HOSPITAL DIDNT DRAG AND DRAG, WASTE THE TIME, THEN MY DAD WON'T BE IN THIS STATE. SOMEMORE IM VERY CURIOUS IS MY DAD IS A HEALTHY MAN WHO ALWAYS JOG, EAT FRUITS WAN BUT Y.. AND WHEN HE IS A TAXI DRIVER, HE NEED TO GO FOR SCAN AND CHECK UP. BUT Y THE RESULT DIDNT SHOW. AND IF HE REALLY HAVE CANCER BUT Y DURING THE 1ST AND 2ND CHECK UP AND XRAY IN POLYCLINIC, THE DOC SAID THAT HIS BONE IS MEI MEI DE, ALRITE AND NOTHING IN THE LIVER. LASTLY, DURING HIS GUAN CHA IN THAT HOSITAL FOR 1MTH PLUS, THE SCAN AND XRAY ALSO DIDNT SHOW THE CANCER RESULT. THEN Y NOW THEN HAVE.... DON'T TELL ME THE DOC'S EYES GOT STAMP DURING THE 1 AND HALF MTH AND ALSO THE POLYCLINIC DOC LOR... AND Y AFTER 2ND OPERATION THEN DAD BECOME MORE WEAK N TIO FEVER AND LEG BECOME VERY VERY VERY SWOLLEN LIKE GOING TO BURST LIAO... AND Y THEY SAY THIS TO MUM BUT DO ANOTHER THINGS....THERES MANY QUESTION IN MY HEAD LOR...Y THEY TOOK TO LONG TO CONFIRM IT IS CANCER... IF ALL THE THE DOC IN THAT HOSPITAL ARE THE SAME, THEN ALL THE PATIENT CAN DIE SOON LE...& MANY MANY MORE ARRRRRRRRGGGHH

Haiz, now my dad become very Bei Guan, he used to like ppl to visit him. But since after he knew he got cancer... whenever ppl visit him, his face will show unhappiness, and pretend to ZzzZzz. Don't wanna ppl to visit him anymore and don't wanna talk to ppl. Even me, I also couldnt accept it..Seeing dad everyday so sianz sianz.. i very sad, heart is bleeding.. I don't know how to help my dad... haiz...
Term test is coming, havent study at all.. already prepare to fail le... You all are not me.. don't understand how I feel de.. I might be losing my dad okay... If you see yr dad is suffering, how will you feel? haiz..

Anyway, daddy pls jiayouz! We will support you de. Hoping for miracles to happen. You will recover wan.... signz..

Shi Zhu Ding Mah>>>??

Hais... damn mOoDlEsS... tOdAy... also sPeEcHlEsS.. Alot of troubles, problems, stress & pressure.. sTuDy? STRESS...my VR only got 13 out of 30.. sObZ..
Alot lot of things to buck up, alot of things to do for FYP. DamN pReSsUrE.. mOrE I'm so PeKcHaY... my SAN GU so FAN... making me so pIsSed oFf.. waste my hp $$$$.
Don't feel like toking to people... NOT even ANY PEOPLE that I know... I just wan slient.. I just want peace.. I just want to talk to my dAd... Please recover soon.. We will be waiting for your return.. Don't Let us WORRY like HELL... I lOvE yOu dAd... I will pray for you everyday...!! yOu mUsT jIa yOu...!! sIgNz....

Wo Bu Xiang Tao...... but...

So long din blog le.. kinda sianz sianz sianz & lazy too..
hmmz 1st of all, I would like to say hApPiE bElAtEd bIrDdAy tO mY lAoGoNg on 31 Dec 2004. Really sad & disappointed that I can't even celebrate for him... haiz..

Happy New year to everyone..!! Hoping everyone will be doing well in this 2005 year..! Gd luck...

Next, HaPppie bDae to my god brother, Jun wei, 3 Jan 2005. One year older le, hope you are doing well in everything. Must work hard k.. Jia youz... Don't give too much pressure on yourself. Believe you can do it de.. Don't give up lor... Take care.

My chicken pox okay liao.. Thursday can go back to school le. Sobz.. so many Quiz, Lab Test this week.. Haven't study yet.. Don't understand a single things. Missed alot alot of lesson le. HopE hOpE HoPe I can Cope..If not jia lat siaz..

I'm very moody right now (-_-)sad..

Don't avoid. Don't make me avoid.
The more i avoid, the more i getting hopeless.
Just open your heart and tell me the truth.
Don't make me wait & worry like mad.
Sorrie for everything that breaks your heart.
Hoping you will forgive & let things go.
Don't take things so serious. Don't take it too hard.
Sometimes it doesn't meant to be the way u thought.

Just wanna tell you, I love you.
Not only now but forever.
Is not yi bei zhi , is heng duo heng duo bei zhi..
Sorrie to hurt you again and again.
I will try to mend your broken heart.
If I can't, I will let you go.
Find your happiness & smile always
with no worries, with no stress.

This is what I want U to be....

I'm sorrie....